Be your own man!

I was recently reading the book ‘Elon Musk’ by Ashlee Vance which is a sort of biography covering Elon Musk’s life in detail. It is an interesting read and provides an insight into Musk’s life and journey so far. I was highly impressed by Musk’s intelligence and knowledge, but even more so by his charisma and his almost superhuman ability to get the best out of colleagues, achieving impossible feats in the process. 

And for a minute I wished that I could just be like him. That I could work for 18 hours straight day in day out, running 3 companies, getting things done in impossible time, achieving superhuman feats, while changing the world for better. Never mind the tremendous pressure that he places his colleagues under, sometimes discrediting or barely recognizing their efforts, or being so straightforward that it can be downright rude. Just some of the qualities that go against my nature.

And this got me thinking. Everytime we come across a visionary or a leader, while we are awed by their personality, this feeling is almost always accompanied by a sense of inferiority – a feeling that we are not as good as they were, and probably never will be. 

We are way too quick to underestimate our own qualities, forgetting who we are and what special qualities we possess. Instead, the focus shifts to lack of characteristics in our personality that these legendary figures possess. We simply start wishing that we were a copy of that successful person.

But we are missing two important points here. First, no successful man is perfect. Second and more importantly, no two successful people are the same.

The point here is that every visionary, every historical figure that inspires us became successful precisely because he/she managed to figure out what his special talents were and made full use of them. In other words, these people were/are one of their kind. And so are you! 

The qualities that make people great are not the same across the board. Granted, there are some common characteristics such as perseverance, love for their work, and a zeal to make a difference in common, but they all go about achieving their objectives differently. 

One may be a team player who uses his power of speech to get the best out of others, while another may be a solo flier who utilizes his amazing brain to solve complex problems. They both have equal chances of being rich, famous, successful and of making a difference as long as they make full use of their respective potential. 

Abraham Lincoln might have shared a trait (or two) with Steve Jobs, but it can be said with certainty that the two were never a 100% match in terms of their personalities and capabilities. 

What these remarkable men did was identify their strengths, and develop them – by learning their own experiences and vicariously. They kept on honing their skills, before the universe placed them in the ultimate position where they could best utilize their gifts. Most importantly, they believed in themselves.

And that’s the message that we ought to focus on. 

You and I are one of our kind, and instead of striving to emulate others, we need to identify what makes us special and use those gifts to our advantage. There’s no fixed set of quality that ensures success (whose definition varies from person to person anyway). What matters is how well we utilize the gifts we have been bestowed with.

Tom Watson, the legendary CEO of IBM put it best when he said – “I am no genius, but I am smart in spots, and I stay around those spots.”

Well, time to uncover your mojo then. 

But how to do that? How can you identify your superpowers, and use them to become your own man? Here’s a 2-step process for you. And you can do it right away as you read this. 

1. Trust that you are special.

Einstein famously said – “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 

It is high time that you stopped underestimating yourself!

The world works on the basis of our beliefs. If you believe the world is a tough place, that’s how life will turn out to be. If you believe that the world is full of nice people and lovely opportunities, you will find yourself spending time interacting with amazing people and being offered one good break after another. 

If you believe that you are an average human, don’t expect an above average life. But if have faith in yourself and in the universe, and you trust that you are special and deserve nothing but the best, nothing but the best will come to you.

If you don’t agree with this concept, just sit back and honestly think about the beliefs that you carry and how your life has turned out so far. Be true to yourself, no one’s watching or judging you. You will find that there will be perfect congruence between your thoughts and your life events.

Our beliefs evolve with time and experiences we have. As an example, some of us may move from trusting people to distrusting them owing to some distasteful incidents. But the first step is to develop the right beliefs.

If you already carry positive beliefs, that’s great. We can move onto the next step. If not, you need not worry at all. The good thing is beliefs can be changed consciously. 

All you have to do is identify your negative/blocking beliefs and replace them with positive ones. Genuinely start believing that you are a capable human who has his/her own specialties and who deserves nothing but the best in life. That life is full of adventures and excitement and every event – favorable or not is part of a learning process that’s a step towards putting you to the ultimate position where you will get a chance to unleash all your potential.  

These are beliefs that work in a positive loop & will get reinforced the more you believe them. 

So, every time you get a chance, be it when you are driving somewhere, partying, travelling, playing with your kids, flying a kite, hiking, meeting your parents, cooling down after a run, joking around with friends, introspecting or looking at yourself in the mirror- take a moment and smile, savor the happiness you are feeling in that instant, count your blessings, feel good about where you are, and get excited about how awesome the future is going to be. 

You deserve nothing but happiness. And part of the process of getting happy is only focusing on things that matter and cutting out the crap from your life – people, situations and belongings. Develop a ‘Badass’ mindset. You can find out how to do that here.

Work on your beliefs all the time. It’s a continuous process. You will be amazed by the speed and magnitude of transformation you will undergo.

On to the next step.

2. Identify what makes you unique.

Next, we got to work on identifying what makes us unique. I am talking about recognizing our strong points. These are traits o your personality. Things that dome naturally to you. For instance, your friends might be amazed how you easily pick up a new language while they struggle for days and eventually give up. 

Are you someone who is great at getting work done from a team, or someone who is absolutely amazing at sales, or maybe someone who absolutely enjoys working? 

Look back on your life and try to find the aspects of your personality that shine through all your memorable achievements. That job that you thoroughly enjoyed and excelled at, that project that you executed perfectly and got acccolades for, that adversity that you successfully navigated, that speech you gave which got you noticed.

You will quickly realize that you have skills and talent that make you highly suited for particular type of work. At the same time, you will also realize what kind of environment do you best thrive in. Some people might find that they work best in a high pressure job/business while others are at their optimum efficiency in a fixed working hours, medium to low pressure work environment. 

While you could (and you should) add new skills to your repertoire, I would suggest that you go for a job/business that utilizes the strengths you carry as a person. If you are a great speaker, go for roles that utilize your speaking and presentation skills, because you will both enjoy your work and progress quickly.

Keep honing your special skills by employing them as much as you can, until you become the best at what you do. You will suddenly find yourself working in a state of ‘flow’ or the ‘God Mode’, where things will happen without any apparent effort, and your state of mind will be one where you find yourself experiencing utter joy, day in and day out. The fact that you are having fun is the ultimate indicator of a great life. 

While we have discussed how to be your own man, the topic is incomplete until we touch upon what is probably the most important aspect of life. Once we understand and imbibe this next part, there’s nothing that can trouble us at any point in life. I repeat. This is not to be taken lightly as it can make or break all your efforts, and make your life feel worthless or worthy. Sit up, take notice, and make sure you adopt this cardinal rule before you do anything else today. Here goes. 

3. You define your success.